Can I get some whitesplaining of “RanOffOnDaPlugTwice”? (I just caught up with BOFA earlier today, thanks to Bernie Lincicome.)

At this point, Volkswagen should simply provide office space to German prosecutors and police. It would reduce the commute time on these raids. And reduce emissions at the same time. Win-win.

Or if he does stick around, find an editor who knows what’s wrong with a headline like:

Came here to pedanticize. Grateful to find I’m not alone. In this way.

Fine, but can we get Carly Rae Jepsen’s vocal track isolated in that Target musicalmercial? That was...something.

“Refuse to be Abused” would now have to be the leading contender for the Knicks’ 2017-18 marketing campaign.

Yeah, where’s the mainstream media?

We know there are no ’Bama germs on that thing.

Dude, how many other guys have their fingerprints all over that thing?

It’s a little nipply this time of year.

Let me check with my wife.

“Hail, Caesar”? I thought that movie was DOA in 2014.

I’m setting the over/under at the first Kinja appearance of username “Mythopoetic Stu” at 5 minutes from now. And...GO.

A Lukewarm take, at best.

A listicle.

Never mind the bollards.

Wait, when is opening day for the St. Louis Cardinals again?

If you’ve got a rubber arm, the Cubs could use you in the middle innings.

T DUBS!