“Hurdles through the sky.”

There’s no movie dog like a digipomorphic dog. Woof.

Backup and back down, if you’re doing it right.

“Plug Side.”

“Gifting the family tartan” is now my go-to euphemism for boning. Piercing the hogshead. You know, sex. Intercourse.

This woman needs to dump her guy for the Capital One Cafe dude. The only other ad that’s more plastic than this one. STOP ACTING WITH YOUR HANDS, PEOPLE!

She should be questioning the nature of her reality by now.

Oh, and:

Writing as someone who posted sporadically but read voraciously over more than 10 years of this site, I just wanted to inscribe my “name” here on this picnic table one last time. Deadspin editors and writers, may you and the great work you began, and the great jokes you perpetuated, find new homes soon. This interweb,…

I blame Irwin Mainway for this.

Well, hell.

His back-door slider needs work.

This really needs more appreciation. 

He does have the complete package.

Stick to fires.

In solidarity with the LGBTQ community, the Chicago Bears pledge no conversions this season.

Snapping the ball for Auburn was true freshman quarterback Bo Nix

“Detective Calder would like a word with you.”