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Ah yes, a ring in the shape of you-know-what when it splats on a tummy.

Planned Parenthood's media team sent a 2013 holiday card to media types that contains chocolate condoms, emergency contraception, and birth control (pictured, probably with my drool on it). Needless to say, Planned Parenthood is ***flawless.

If I were ever forced to choose whose work to read, yours or Laura's, and I'd never get to read the other's again, that would seriously be on the level of Sophie's Choice for me. I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS, THAT IS THE TRUTH.

Where is this Nirvana you call home?

Clearly, she wanted to be the only person to do a "Check In" from the middle of Port Phillip Bay.

I like snarky comments as much as the next guy, but there are some implications here that are pretty disturbing about women and education and bodily autonomy, and I'm having a hard time taking this story lightly.

But the white lights will make my Tom Hiddleston ornament look so much better!!!

Example: No one is discussing the impending Hiddleston or Gosling backlash...

Well, I don't think it'll change your life. But it's safe to say if you start googling your cockles, you'll at least have to clear your schedule for the next couple days.

You god-damned bet I do.

I did this a couple days ago and my two faves were short and sweet:

That sounds like the most fun activity ever though

He should have known that other races are looked down on in Utah

He should have just rolled up and said, "Alright, alright, alright."

It's not like the other designs are good, but dear god, Nike, leave some space under the Swoosh, will ya? That's so distracting that it immediately draws the eye to...

Jezebel is truly a wondrous site to bring this miraculous knowledge to me! Thank you very much.

Those Tacos are really good... I miss good cheap Mexican food while I'm on the East Coast.

If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment for some night-vacuuming followed by burning the midnight oil working on my night cheese.