Also, “Fuck him for not taking us to the beach.” -security detail

Alternate headline for The Root:

Yet another reason I love my non-Plus iPhone - I don’t need a one-handed keyboard. Default one works great with one hand.

0-1 since the Juice was paroled...

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women

We had that. His name was Barack Obama. He won 2 elections handily.

It was decent as far as screeds go, but lacking some nuance.

Murdered by the left saying “we accept you and your beliefs unless they’re different”.

Yes, I simply cannot imagine the Democrats running a candidate whose spouse has a less-than-stellar record.

Great setup, even better joke.

Shit, that was Rocky II.

Always did like Tyson’s “I’m gonna eat his children” bit, though.

Yeah, i hate to nitpick on a movie I genuinely enjoyed so much...but Flash Thompson should be Biff Tannen! No way that little dweeb is ever Agent Venom!

I’m 90% sure her inclusion is basically just to set up the pieces to kill off Tony Stark in Infinity War. A lot more drama involved in a character death if the character’s a family man, after all.

“Hi, Chris. First time caller, love the show. Anyway, I think it’s totally acceptable for a state governor to decide, due to budget issues, that some people just can’t have water without lead in it..............Er, I mean that the beaches have to be closed on a big holiday weekend. I’ll hang up and listen.”

I think Stark over watches Peter too much as well.

There was no twist whatsoever. “MJ” isn’t Mary Jane. Her name was clear in the movie. It’s Michelle Jones, thus MJ. Them calling her Mj is probably just a homage to Mary Jane, but no she is not Mary Jane.

I did not like the MJ twist. Her name’s not even Mary Jane! It reminded me too much of having Joseph Gordon Levitt’s real name be “Robin” in The Dark Knight Rises.

I will never understand this mindset. “Man, if only gamers had tolerated a product that didn’t meet their expectations we cold have gotten DLC.” While every criticism sure as hell isn’t valued, stop pretending that consumer desiring decent products is somehow indecent. “it was still 100% playable” Wow. Hot-damn. What…

I was really hoping it wouldn’t be another Destiny/Warframe wannabe. Screw multiplayer co-op stuff. I want single player RPG’s. I want some Bioware in my Bioware games!