Thirstier than a Rubio in front of a camera!

Fun fact: all the flour based ingredients are made from ground bones no further than one beanstalk away- think global, act local!

Forget the tax returns, I wanna see the x-rays of that deviated septum!

Weed is chill and good. Coke is for assholes. It took me $1000 worth of of top shelf MDMA to figure this out.

Oh no, it’s a great obituary- but everything else about it, yeah.

This guy’s a business genius: first he created a niche, then he filled it.*

2 pusses, 1 foul!

Also sitting down to pee keeps the bathroom tidier- good for you, fellow dude!

You should get that drunkle whacked before he inherits your fair share!

Count downs are worse- especially failed ones!

Wow when Frank Luntz throws in the towel...

There’s more to “Best in Show” than just diet and exercise! (there’s grooming too!)

Brilliant

He doesn’t do blow, but he would be the guy who would do it in the middle of the day, not just for maintaining an evening of drinking with good friends and your dealer.

Anyone who thinks Hillary lost to her rambling opponent tonight must have Trump for a surname. Even little Barron’s facepalming!

And a bad case of the lies!

Sounds like the guest of honor was a real amuse douche!!

Chapter 8: “In Which Piglet Brexits Dafuq Out”

It takes a lot of chutzpah to make America great again!

That time of year again? Oh dear