I have a six foot plus pole that I am prepared to use as a social distance facilitator. It will stop any maskless idiot who tries to enter my space from breathing...

“Calling all cars! Calling all cars! There is a Black family trying to increase their property value in Montclair! It may even increase the property value of the house next door! Calling all cars!”

I hit every damn Polish church fair in this town solely to stuff my face. If you’re ever at one, I’m the woman with blue hair passed out on a table in the church basement, covered in melted butter and onions. 

I’ve been here for almost 4 years (PIGTOWN, BABY!), and wrote a book about Baltimore you might like! Was supposed to move to Chicago this summer for my husband’s job, and kinda happy we’re “stuck” here for the time being. I absolutely love everything about this city, except for it’s startling lack of decent Chinese…

The very specific memory I have about coddies is that they served them at the snack bar at the alley my mom bowled at (and still does, pandemic-pending). They had them under glass next to the register, and I remember them looking like a combo of a crab cake and a fishstick, but being warned off of them by my mom. I…

Hunzi seems ready to leave as well, I’m sure he would head out with the group.

Ruby Tuesdays

One time I was meeting someone in New York, in the flip phone era:

Nah, I don’t even do jalapenos. Chips covered in cheese...I know this sounds redundant, but hear me out: Dorito’s Nacho Cheesier chips...dipped in cheese.

She does but you can’t really count on them to vote.

He’s totally like a Gordon Ramsay Mini Me.

The 70s was the worst for everything. kitchens. cars. hairstyles. clothing. Is burnt orange the worst color ever made?

Oh god, no. Never again “Harvest Gold” or “Avocado Green” appliances.

I was there in the 1970's - it was bad then, it is bad now.

So you can turn on the oven light and sit there and admire your revolting tuna-noodle casserole while it bakes, I guess.

Oh, heck, macrame all the things. Fill your house with dusty rope and ribbons.

Hold on. I just noticed in that photo he’s covering...his FACE! Like some sort of blaspheming heathen! For lo, he uses his hand to defy God! Burn him for he is a witch!

Guys, I caught COVID-19. It SUCKED. And I had the “mild” version, meaning I didn’t have to be hospitalized. I am on *DAY 50* since start of symptoms and I am recovering, but I am nowhere near back to normal. I was in self-isolation for nearly 4 weeks. I am still having horrible dizzy spells, weakness, fatigue like you…

My tune is all about them suffering, but not dying. Suffer, assholes. Suffer!

I liked it too!  It’s always nice when we get insight into who they are as people!