I mean, I’m saying this as a person with a vag* who Does Not Like getting head: If I came across someone who broadcast their extreme disgust for eating pussy, that would put me off sleeping with them at all. Having to hear about a partner’s revulsion for a part of my body is just... nah.

rnan - ask your partner! She is literally the only person who can answer this question, dude.

No one seems to have said this, but SiS? Do try counseling. It sounds like your feelings about your body are weighing heavily on you and seriously affecting your ability to have a love life. A good therapist can help reprogram your brain, essentially, so that you don’t feel so self-conscious. If you don’t click with…

Did you literally tell her that you found the idea of going down on her/ a woman disgusting? Boy, I sure hope not.

Thanks for voicing a bunch of stuff that I’ve not been able to articulate at all.

You have now, but your first comment definitely didn’t read that way. ETA: sorry, should have been clearer. I was talking about my initial impression of your views, not what I understand them to be now.

Read my other comments on this article, please. You are not doing me or other queer and trans people any favors by putting this idea forward.

Okay. I didn’t know if you’d really given your gender much thought. And I don’t particularly mind what view you hold of gender as long as it doesn’t cause you to take transphobic action, honestly.

Thanks for reaching out :3 Yeah, there’s some bad apples, but as we both know, focusing on hunting those people at the expense of the far more numerous LGBTQ folks who get hurt by being invalidated is.... not good.

Trying to hunt down unscrupulous individuals who are masquerading as NB gets people who are actually NB hurt. Interrogating people’s gender identities is not the right way to stop predators in radical spaces (ETA: people who use the language and trappings of social justice to manipulate and not control others).…

I don’t think there is a way to discuss it without having marginalized people as collateral damage, which is unacceptable. That’s what I’ve been trying to say.

You’re allowed to be trans too. (I have no idea if you are, but.... if you’re bitter at being forced to be a woman, it seemed like something worth saying. Your gender is entirely your business, and you are the authority on it but.. yeah. I’m not going to gatekeep you.)

Oppression Olympics sucks, that’s for sure. It’s not a compassionate, useful, or helpful way of addressing issues.

And I want to add: those communities do not protect their members from systemic violence & discrimination in real life.

Yeah. I’d get fired if I was out.

In certain types of very insular radical communities, people *do* do bizarre stuff in order to have the social cachet of being marginalized (bleeeeegh). You’re not wrong about that. It may sometimes happen. But it does nonbinary people of all races a big disservice to constantly focus on / nitpick the validity of…

That’s nice. My anecdata totally contradicts yours.

Oh, stop. Queer and trans people can be just as rapey and awful.

Yeah. One of my close friends has to remain closeted because their dad will beat them (literally) for being visibly gender-nonconforming.

Well said!