When you’d rather be a team that supports “real American values” than one that wins, this is what happens.

Now that’s some tape Rex Ryan will actually study.

Classic Alpha Male posturing.

Unexpected from a guy named Hands.

+1 For Toilet-dick-chicken. Great band name too.

When my son was 3, his junk was seat-height. One day he was lifting the lid and dropping it, pulling his bits out before contact. I told him to stop, he didn’t, and shortly after, his timing was off.

I want to judge these people but a lot of them sound like high schoolers and, as I recall, between the ages of 13-16 I tried to have sex with literally any inanimate object I was alone with for more than five minutes. It’s a rough age.

• RIDING HIS HORSE WHEN HE FELL OFF AND WAS STEPPED ON BY HORSE ON PENIS

NEW LANDLORD THOUGHT HIS APT WAS EMPTY KICKED THE DOOR DOWN STRIKING HIM IN THE TESTICLES AND FACE

Please have him email me and tell me what the alloys are before I perish.

Alright so I can add something here. I don’t wanna sell it as the juiciest thing, but:

Still not worse than the 6oz bag of cheesy popcorn I bought from a fundraiser catalog for $13.

I’m already making up excuses to get out of going to those and I’m not even a father yet.

Also something from Robertson’s playbook.

“Flags. I fucking hate flags. You fucking hate flags. Everyone fucking hates flags.”

I live in the middle of dumbfuckistan....in the actual country no less. Here is a condensed conversation I had yesterday with a farmer talking about football (since he went to one of the state schools and I went to the other about a thousand years ago).

When I was a kid, people in my parent’s generation were immediately suspicious of anything that came from the internet. “Don’t meet anyone from the internet in real life!” “You can’t believe that, it’s just on the internet!”

A lot of people have said that he’s out of place over there and from the KSK stuff I remember he definitely seemed to be more taking the piss out of Bartstool-types rather than catering to them but in the aftermath of the ESPN thing I decided to listen to his podcast for the first time yesterday and....ok? I mean it’s…

In every way possible the very last person you would ever expect to be employed by Barstool.

elite