There is a distinct difference in professions here, bub. 

If he doesn’t awkwardly “beam” up at the end of the film before a text slide states “Sonic died on his way to his home planet.”  I’m never buying another sonic product again.

I’d imagine they’re going to have to be real careful with the camera, because with bipedal legs like that... Sonic’s gonna have an ass.

Sonic was never truly naked before because he was a cartoon and you didn’t have to think about that.

Terms that are likely to be used tomorrow at the Hamagami/Carroll Inc. offices: “PR Nightmare, Retooling, Crisis Mode.”

YES! My husband understands the tweezers hierarchy as:
1. The GOOD tweezers. MY tweezers. They were hand milled in England and were designed to put together dollhouse miniatures. I won’t even tell him where they are.
2. The back-up good tweezers that have been lost for 6 months but I still hold out hope they can be…

As always, Douglas Adams knew best:

Hot : Luke Warm :: Cold : ? Why don’t have a word for something that’s mildly cold? Don’t even try to say “cool” because no one describes their luke-cold drink as “cool”

Candy.

Putting clothespins on power cords to save money by keeping electricity from escaping as waste is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever heard. If people who believe this have kids that go to your kid’s school, you need to find your kid a new school.

Maybe it’s a stretch, but I think the spaghetti western is a different genre. Leone flips the trope and makes the protagonist, traditionally a “good” guy, just as bad as the “bad” guys. Also traditional Westerns have the hero protecting the weak; while that happens in a Leone western, it’s more as a side effect of the…

While we’re at it, I’d like a ruling on whatever the fuck “acid jazz” is.

Deftones is a guilty pleasure, but I didn’t realize they were considered nu-metal until I read someone else call them that in this thread. Screaming does not make music metal unless we’re all going to look each other in the eyes and say that Brand New is metal.

Grunge killed hair metal, and Guns N Roses were among the corpses. Or did they mysteriously take a “break” for 15 years?

Counterpoint: Guns ‘N Roses sucks. They’re entire act was “Let’s do what Motley Crue is doing but edgier, man!” They’re every bit as hair metal as Poison or Skid Row, which is why they didn’t do much between Nirvana releasing Nevermind and becoming dad rock 15 years later. Their most iconic song is Jim Rome’s bumper…

I’m also glad you haven’t. The responses make me out to be rather dim.

I’ve never done that.

Neither yours nor Drew’s lists mention bubble gum flavor. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Wintergreen is the only acceptable answer to number 1.

Of all the bad lists that have graced the pages of Deadspin, that gum ranking may be the absolute worst. Passion fruit gum at No. 2?!?