Lucy in the Sky near Diamond.

The boy asked, “Why, when I needed you most, was there only one set of footprints in the sand?” And Jesus replied, “Because all the other infielders were in the dugout, jerking off.”

You misspelled investifarted.

I have been waiting for an appropriate time to use this.

I think she was just making a joke about a particular episode of last season, not actually being frustrated.

I used to play pretty seriously. The rules are simple. The main goal is to achieve “The Queen’s Errand,” or have the most netted balls by the end of the crow’s watch. If the pepper is placed in your path, you have to wheel the cranberry using only the poetic side of your bike. The lines on the court indicate the…

I took in a homeless kitty whose mouth had succumbed to gingivitis. Subsequently he had to have his few remaining teeth pulled due to serious infection. He loves being held and rocked like a baby.

But, what about the guy on the subway? “I have no legs. *shakes can*” That and the girl being raped on the couch are my most vivid memories of that movie.

Wow. Being a dick can really take a toll on your looks.

RACEwaaaaaay PARK!

As far as Amber Heard goes... she broke the law. Australia has very strict animal import laws for a reason, and she not only ignored those, but lied and failed to declare the dogs. She can whine all she likes, but she shouldn’t be immune to the legal repercussions of her actions.

Exactly my thought. I hate the why, but this money is absolutely going to be better spent given to a group that actually does fucking research.

Any other company, besides Komen, and I’d be infuriated by this.

Okay so I want to be all feminist enraged...but Komen is shit...

to be fair if i was peer pressured by the hemsworth family, i’d 100% do it too

I like this, I like it a lot. Whenever people ask me what I’ll do if I eventually regret my tattoo I say, “Look, I have all kinds of marks on my body that I didn’t ask for and I don’t like. I have scars, I have stretch marks, funny freckles, weird bumps, whatever. Those are all permanent too. I CHOOSE my tattoo, and I…

okay but like lets circle back to the main story here which is why in the fuck would you get h20 tattooed on yourself

So also in some universe a family of four is at a restaurant behaving themselves, ordering strictly from the menu, and tipping 30%?

This story is amazing and terrifying!

There is a well-known theory in quantum physics known as the Many Worlds Theory. In essence, it states that there are an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of permutations.