The birthday cake he bought his wife said “Happy Birthday Diane, and use a pretty font.”

Daley Blind sounds like a braille newspaper

Brazilian here. Main issue is that “China”, in Portuguese, can refer to the country or can be a very offensive (but popular, I’m afraid) way to refer to a Chinese person. In other words, it’s a racial slur not much different from Ch**k. If I had to guess my misguided countryman’s intentions, the first one would…

But their child will be the USSF’s Stallion That Mounts the World.

Deep. I like it.

Better a Lucky Whitehead than a lucky blackhead, am I right?

Better late den never.

“At the end of the day it came down to health and being able to still get up and play with the kiddos or take the dog on the run or go do hobbies,”

Dude, amazing.

He’s got oxy????!!!! Sign the man right now.

+1 Oxy10 Oxycute them!

I don’t understand. Where would the teams that were going to be relegated into MLS be coming from?

Can someone explain why David Seaman’s daughter plays for the Netherlands?

Thank goodness. We were all worried that you’d find new soccer stories to misreport.

Really? You make a drug reference regarding how mellow Jamaica was and you pick Valium? JAMAICA?

It sure seem like the team picked up their shit REALLY quickly. Either this has been done before or they pre-planned it. Publicity stunt.

*sad trumbone music*

Just when you can’t hate LaVar Ball any more, out come the cargo shorts.

LaVar isn’t trying to be Marv Marinovich, or Richard Williams, or Earl Woods. He’s just trying to be the worst LaVar Ball that he can be.