I mean, using periscope to show people how you get supplies to victims of a flood seems pretty goddamn funny.

1.) You are absolutely correct

“In this novel, a heroic, righteous officer of the law spends decades chasing an evil, criminal fugitive who used a fake identity to hide in plain sight and even stole a loaf of bread when he was hungry. That criminal was a thief and deserved to be punished.”

- An excerpt from Tom Llamas grade 7 book report on Victor…

You must have large, muscular forearms, what from pulling up so hard on those bootstraps of yours.

“Interestingly enough, you also have to rotate that swastika 45 degrees for it to resemble the Reich’s swastika.”

That chest x-ray is looking pretty serious for ol’ Farenthold there.

I just read this lengthy ass blog post about a lawsuit stemming from a private Facebook mom group.

Ran away with when parked.

Christie said that he wanted to be “taken out of the running” because he thought there would be running, which he hates.

as the outgoing governor of New Jersey will not pursue an on-air gig at WFAN.

...floating in a jar of formaldehyde.

Holy fucking hell Mabel. Remember last December when we all said how glad we were that 2016 was over?

Literally all I ever knew about Cobb County Georgia before this was to read the signs and respect the law and order.

because Page Six clicked publish, and then i clicked publish

You seem pretty high too.

I’m excited to see LaVar pull the entire Lakers team off the court because his son got called for a common foul.

Delta isn’t going to read this and sleep with you. You can let it go.

Well don’t give it any stars and you won’t have to see it