Additionally, The Mail reports that the women Jackson was seen with are his private dancers and don’t have sex with him. Their only job, allegedly, is to dance for Jackson to “soothe his notoriously explosive temperament,” but this is The Mail, so take that with a grain of salt.

Fun Fact #1: Meeting Mike Warnke inspired me to attend a Baptist seminary.

Is it really time for another go-round of Satanic Panic? What’s Mike Warnke doing these days?

Sadly, two rebel brains still don’t add up to one.

Why aren’t there any dice in that bag?

Unless I’m lying. Aye.

Boil, boil,

Not a POW camp. There’s a reason AfterMASH took place in a Veteran’s Hospital.

The headline doesn’t say “Useless”; it says “Dumbest”. He’s my Best Boy, but he’s not that bright.

This guy, usually:

Watching Peter Cetera sing just reminds me of John Sessions’ impersonantion of Alan Rickman...

Tom Braidwood, Dean Haglund, and Bruce Harwood—a.k.a. the trio known as “The Lone Gunmen”—will return in one episode of the revived series, despite the fact the characters were killed off in the show’s 9th season (following the failure of their own self-titled and short-lived spinoff series).

Not BOOM...

Why block out the Twitter handles, ABC? Surely these Internet tough guys aren’t afraid of having to own their horseshit.