Wanna buy a monkey?

It amuses me more than it probably should that Bullbusters is made by Nut.

He’s as smart as he is handsome.

Yeah, you’re about seven years too late there, pal.

Lizzo feat. DJ D-Sol.

A $1 increase from a service that hasn’t raised prices in over a decade is bleak? Have you been outside at all since 2016? (Also, quit making me defend end-stage capitalism, goddammit.)

I actually agree, trans folx should go to a pet groomer instead of her. The pet groomer has far more skill than this genius.

This is probably an unkind thing to say about someone I never met, but I’m kinda glad her mom died too.

Yes. Yes, it does.

Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply cancel the other five?

Kel Mitchell is the Peter Scolari of Good Burger.

Stepping on Lego pieces is bad enough, I don’t even want to think about pooping them out.

It’s Freecock, but tips are encouraged.

“Christmas Eve on Sesame Street” is a yearly watch in the Gorilla household. It’s going to be melancholy this year. R.I.P.

Interesting, I’ve apparently been using it incorrectly all these years. I learned something new today, and you got to be right on the internet, so win/win!

I obviously never knew her, but I’m fairly certain Fanny Brice wasn’t a mensch.

No offense to Hot Mama (which I love) or Two Angry Cats (which I haven’t tried yet but is definitely on my list), but how can you do two separate Portland based hot sauces and not include Secret Aardvark?

I wish I could tell you you’re wrong, that violence and fear only begets violence and fear, that we can find common ground, blah blah blah—but I can’t. Fuck every single one of those scumbags.

I’m guessing the reason the Red Cross is hostile to WCK is that the Red Cross is terrible.