I'll give you three reasons why Newark is not so bad:

200 word essay is childs play. How about a haiku, as written by Yoda?

I hadn't realized a Greg Allman did motorcycle reviews for Jalopnik.

Thank you Tom, you racially insensitive prick.

And now we go to a more oriented news reporter, Tricia Takanawa

And you know all these AQ overachievers want to be considered top-level. They'll never be, as long as they stay wallowing in their mediocre conferences.

That's exactly what happened when Spencer Hall and A.J. Daulerio met at Blogs With Balls in 2009.

The commentariat is the top ranked challenger of pedophile jokes.

He never had that knack of later, more beloved playboy athletes like Joe Namath of not bringing the suck.

[Redacted]

This probably only applies to former NAIA and DIII players in the NFL, all 6* of them. I doubt anyone else paid enough attention in class to learn how to write a cohesive paragraph.

the 22-year-old daughter of former St. Louis Cardinal, Jeff Lahti

Canadian "Hero" Rheal Cormier Pumps Up Fellow Canadian's Sequoia at Local Shell Station.

Lindsey, you don't need to report the cash value of this prize on your taxes. In fact, you can deduct it.

Jay: How does this tie look with my suit?

Tampa Bay’s Dwayne Roloson Makes Incredible Save, Compelling Case That Hockey Is Also Still Going On

Cincinnati is like its own giant time portal. You step into the town, and suddenly it's forty years ago, and races are fighting, and people are littering, and you can smoke inside, and everyone is drinking Tang and the Reds just won a Division Title.

This is the most disturbing story about a left eye since Andre Rison's house burned down.

plus the solipsistic aside that goes nowhere

won? one? I quit.