Jason Garret: [on phone] Hey Dad, Mr. Jones just promoted me to head coach. Do you have any advice?

@token_liberal: I said the same thing on Sept. 12, 2001. But fuck if I didn't spend the weekend of 9/15-16 bored with no football to watch.

he meets this banging girl.

To hold the position that we have in the West and make sure that if something could happen, very good, that we're in position to take that, it has to end in victory Saturday afternoon.

Well, we are smarter than all of you.

It's time for a new Drew Carey sitcom to sooth these people.

@Phintastic: Agreed, once he started teaching that split fingered

Bullshit. It's a viral marketing campaign by Converse. They're returning to the football segment.

denton suggested doing something thinky about digital cameras and athletes

Reminds me of an exchange I had a while back with a friend from college when he brought up an "incident" from our senior year:

I don't even bother to chew anymore.

@AustraliansDontDrinkFosters: When you get down to it, it's so much cheaper than the real thing, and it's good enough to boot. Like cultured marble or plywood.

beating his head against the hoops stanchion.

She's really blossomed into a lovely young women since her days when she cried about Britney Spears.

The guy at the 0:36 mark:

I like this new "Annotated Tommy Craggs."

"If there's an abundance of low-minded stuff, it's there in part to subsidize the high-minded stuff,

One day, seemingly out of nowhere, something terrible happened to Evan Jacobs's testicles: They rotated. Then came the pain, the marijuana, the doctor's finger, the testicle display, and the compression shorts.

They're lucky this guy wasn't working last night.

@Yellow Tail Swine: