I admire your commitment to a quality getaway even when you’re pilfering from a bin marked “free, take one” :)

I’ll consider two-weeks notice for resignation a necessity when society considers the same notice for termination.

I can identify Jeremy Meeks by name now. Not Hot Felon Jeremy Meeks. I see the words Jeremy Meeks and I know who is being referenced.

But like, Joanna Lumley as Patsy as Doctor Who, right? Hahaha.

Which, by the by, happens ALL THE TIME. There have been plenty of male Lady MacBeths, Juliets, Clytemnestras, you name it. Hell, for most of recorded Western history ALL roles were played by males! And modern theater is rife with them. They’re considered Brave and shit.

It wouldn’t matter if they were stills from “The Vagina Monologues” that she performed entirely with her own personal vulva that she dressed up in different little hats. Her having lady bits DOES NOT PRECLUDE HER FROM HUMANITY, YOU TIDE OF WORTHLESS SCUM.

That’s why I spend all day, every day in my basement apartment knitting cat sweaters out of old, dried tampon fibers while gently weeping and watching the opening sequence to Mary Tyler Moore on repeat. Because I’m a real feminist.

You can’t enjoy existing and being a feminist. It’s just fact.

I want to phrase this correctly, but I fear I won’t. I haven’t clicked on their stories because I won’t, but I’m guessing it’s just boobs right? On that note it’s just fucking boobs you stupid idiots! Stop making it exploitation! Is their any actress working today who hasn’t had a scene with her top off!? Melissa Joan…

All of which are helmed by ... wait for it ... wealthy, aging shitcarp white dudes who are probably insecure in their masculinity compared to their perception of their own fathers. A group of sadder tryhards you will not find.

Oh God. Here comes the chorus of men who hold the super logical view that women who are feminists but also have sex/body parts are ‘hypocrites’.

No, not Greens. The Greens are basically Fundies who traded in their bible for a sack of non-GMO granola.

Oh, and I said this in another spot, but trust that Justine would be livid about the difference in narratives about a blonde white lady victim vs. a black man victim. If she had more melanin, I reckon she’d be getting called an immigrant in the first line of most of these stories.

I want a cam on the gun. Gun drawn, cam on. Also, a second one facing the cops face.

“Mumble mumble something about budgets...”

3. Very few Internet Commenters will urge for patience and a wait-and-see approach to determine if the shooting was warranted. There won’t be people insisting that this woman must have done something wrong, and if she had just obeyed the officers’ commands, she would be alive.

The BCA will absolutely leak anything negative about a white person to protect a cop. They did it in a Mankato police killing earlier this year where they leaked the toxicity report on the victim - a white man who was a school teacher.

More Justine fun facts:
She referred to herself as “Juzzy Wuzzy” (her maiden name is/was Rusczyk) whenever she was talking about “woo woo” stuff.

I liked it better when The Onion was a satirical paper, instead of a prediction engine.