If I'm touching boxer shorts being worn on a guy, chances are I've already made the decision to get hot and heavy about a button-down and belt buckle ago.

I get more turned on touching men's dress pants. My husband spends as much time as possible in his underwear; I'm sort of immune to it by now. But dress pants, mmm.

Rescues do really great things and I'm glad they exist. But, does anyone else find that rescues tend to be the most weirdly snobbish and mean to people? I got my dog from a kill shelter because not adopting from kill shelters isn't gonna stop them from putting down dogs. I found my dog and we chatted about what my…

I'm reminded of my favorite line from Major League for some reason:

There is no way in hell I'm ruining a donut by putting it on a penis. THE LINE HAS TO BE DRAWN SOMEWHERE.

Don't wear panties. Er, it's for God.

Really? I thought my vagina was of the Devil, but if you want me to uncage the beast...

and The Lord sayeth, 'no woman shall wear undergarments in my house for I am a massive perv'.

Sometimes I'm like. "Dear Lord, can you hear me?" And I pray and don't get a response. And then I'm like, oh, duh, I've got underwear on! Dummy, how's God supposed to hear you through your thong?

alpacalipsnow: "Oh, God!"

God: "Yes?"

alpacalipsnow: "Oh, God!"

God: "Yes, child?"

alpacalipsnow: "Oh, God!"

God: "WHAT, for fuck's sake?"

alpacalipsnow: "Oh God oh God oh God!"

God: "What, what, what??? I... oh, Me damn it, this again? You know, it would be nice to hear from you once in a while when you're NOT all sweaty…

Sounds like season 2 or 3 of True Detective.

Ha ha! As if unclean menstruating women would be allowed in holy places like church. That's a good one.

Just wait until they start menstruating all over the church floor. Then the no underwear rule will magically disappear.

Not sure I want God close enough to know I'm not wearing underwear.

"Why not just let the Hot Pocket cool down to lukewarm before fucking it?"

JIZZ POCKET!

My thoughts:

Go to your corner now!

Very true, I just feel like this article in general is pretty awful, I can't imagine a woman who would try to paint another viable option of birth control in such a bad light because she happens to think its "icky".

Duuuuude, Tracie. I usually like your stuff so much, but this was such whiney uninformed, dare I say privileged, nonsense. Sure, in a perfect world the onus should be on men to both procure and wear a condom. But female condoms, while less common, are actually a lifesaver for women whose sex partners, husbands, etc.…