Well obviously, who is the party that's getting hit on? Newsflash, that means their time is more valuable to them AND you.

Because oftentimes dudes have so little respect for women that they won't back off unless they know there is another dude involved.

Don't buy a girl a drink if you haven't talked to her yet. You see this shit in movies and it works, so maybe if you're George Clooney you can ignore this. But in real life it never works, it comes off as creepy and makes the girl feel uncomfortable. Talk to her first.

*makes broad generalization about an entire country with a population of about 143 million*

"Ve are looking for Nuclear Wessels."

I was thinking the exact same thing. It's got such a 'two wild and crazy guys' spy school vibe to it.

It is worth noting that the man quoted above is 40 years old. One of the others is 39. Not really sure why he thought college girls were a workable strategy in this first place. I would have been extremely creeped out by a strange middle-aged man approaching me and giving me a ton of compliments and asking me weird…

"Gain information" from college girls? About what, exactly? The most pilling-resistant yoga pants? The secret ingredient in pumpkin spice lattes?

It has to be something about hosting an event to celebrate yourself that simultaneously brings out the control freak and cheapskate in some people.

A (not) fun lesbian tipping story: Years ago I waited tables in a gay resort town that hosted a women's weekend every summer. It was seriously one of the worst weekends I ever had as a server. Any given Saturday night, I'd generally make about $150-200 after tipping out, but that Saturday I ran my ass off and made…

It was cold, so obviously there was shrinkage.

What's with the "milk, eggs, and bread" thing? A storm is coming and everyone wants to make French toast?

Holy crap 15 cats. I must be demented, because my first thought was how fast they'd eat your body after you die.

I have done that too believe it or not. Think Winona Ryder Lydia deets with a tan.

That sounds suspiciously like a poodle permed mullet. I feel for you.

I have dark black hair. Long dark black hair. But when I was a teenager I was not happy having long dark black hair. However It's hard to lighten black hair when you don't know what you are doing and silly me I thought you could bleach your hair with actual bleach. So I went to the cupboard and got the javex and…

I was a teen in the eighties. The entire decade was a beauty disaster. Where to start? The blush applied with a "contour brush?" The multi colored eyeshadow? The ungroomed brows? The crunchy hair? The year I "went goth?" (1985-1986)