I reapply to my really damaged areas: nose, few spots on forehead, etc. I don’t reapply to my whole face. The sun mostly burns the parts that stick out when you’re upright, like nose, cheekbones and just above the brow. Unless I am lying down outside, which I seldom do any more, I just touch up those areas.

John Waters

The wrapping is the only thing that’s biodegradable.

That’s a lot of people to hate. Was he targeting people or just killing randomly for kicks?

It’s possible your friend’s dog needed a bathroom break. House-trained dogs will hold in their pee until they get sick and vomit and can’t wait another minute and only then pee. That sounds like what happened there. Sounds like the poor dog felt bad about it, too.

Get a second cooking grid/grate and wash the other one whenever you feel like it.

Bats. Put up some bat houses. Other than that, patchouli oil spray works a little better, in my experience, than the other essential oils, but it does reek on its own and probably attracts hippies.

This is a summer problem?

Asking for favors makes people like you more?? It depends on who is doing the asking. My co-dependent stoner friend/acquaintance (straddling the line there) with the dependent stoner boyfriend who expects her friends to pick up the slack? Not so much.

At least it’s not month-old food from the Trump steakhouse that had 51 violations.

You totally missed, “cooked right,” and my explanation of the crunchy, creaminess that follows upon that. It’s even better without sauce and cheese. Badly cooked eggplant is as bad as overboiled spinach. Slimy, yes, but not representative.

Dr. Kellogg?

Kind of like the predictably hating reactions of certain carnivores when someone suggests cutting back on red meat would be a good thing.

Because eggplant, cooked right, is delicious. Eggplant slices dipped in egg and breadcrumbs and fried, then salted and eaten in sandwiches with fresh mozzarella or eggplant parmigiana. Crunchy, salty and yum.

Why yes, yes, you did. However, I did think of changing it to comic book character after I wrote it, but I reasoned that comics are a type of cartoon, and I was on another page by then, and way too lazy to go back and edit.

Puppyforever walked around the end of the blanket, which meant to the other end of the living room because of intervening furniture, and peeked.

I was going to say that chefs hate everything, but you are a poet.

She wants OUUUTTTT. I’m betting she wants out of the whole First Lady situation, not to mention the marriage and is only staying because his handlers are holding the purse strings.

This would be sad if it weren’t so hilarious. They haven’t corrected it, either, probably because nobody has shown them the correct spelling. For the record: Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

That’s what airplanes looked like 50 years ago. The only difference is the screens.