Ok, maybe not kitties, but ELEPHANTS. VODKA SAVES ELEPHANTS.

Also, apparently greek yogurt production is really shitty for the environment. You don't hear about Vodka poisoning the environment do you?? VODKA SAVES KITTY LIVES. VODKA LIKES CATS *AND* DOGS. ITS JUST THAT AWESOME.

This is what you all get for trying to be all 'healthy' and 'eat right.' You don't hear about people getting sick from a bad batch of poisoned Vodka, do you? No. But on there other VODKA SAVES PUPPY LIVES.

We were looking at this at work the other day, and what got me was that it's buried beneath a whole other house. I would buy it, rent out the surface-level house and never tell the renters that I lived in a crazy bunker right underneath them. I would sneak in and out like Lazlo in Real Genius.

EHRMAGERD! Blast From the Past!

My family and I will still throw out "these mashed potatoes are so creamy" at holiday dinners every now and then, especially during stressful moments. Love that movie, will love Sandy FOREVER.

Every state has different laws about embalming, be sure to look them up in advance. There are cremation societies that you can work with who do cremation on the cheap, and you can pay for it in advance. No need to work with a funeral home at all if you choose not to.

I'm glad there's someone else in this boat. "I love black underwears." is the best line ever. God bless Joe Jr.

OH MY GOD I HAVE SEEN WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING SO MANY TIMES.

Also, I don't know who this Robin Thicke character thinks he is but Beetlejuice will be sooo pissed when he finds out his suit was stolen.

Oh wow...she is so embarrassing. And Robin Thicke: Beetledouche.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Our family, when i was growing up, always blamed it on the moose in the basement. we didn't have a basement.

Cute. But Pavel Petel does it best.

I feel like I should be ashamed that I spent my day in a kiddie pool on my deck with an economy sized bottle of wine, but I'm really not.

This reminds me of one Christmas with my cousins. Before the actual holiday, one of my male cousins complained about never getting what he wanted so he just wanted cash for Christmas. Well, that's exactly what he got. One box with cash in it. Then he had to sit there and watch all of us open multiple presents with…

She's a maniac!
Maniac! on the floor

You know, when people protest and say that making nice clothes for fat people promotes obesity, I like to raise a point: