I’m guessing her lawyer advised her that getting visitation rights and making a show of going to the hospital might make her look better at trial.

Trump later stated “foxes are so clever, so smart, the smartest animal, really, who better to guard the henhouse?”

Is it ok if I wrap it in a tortilla? Cause I will eat pretty much anything for breakfast if it is wrapped in a tortilla.

Agreed. Luckily, I should have 3-5 years to save up for it at this point

That’s awesome. I was actually just thinking when my kid gets old enough we could go do a daddy-daughter activity and get her pierced ears and me a new tattoo :P

Our theory is wait until they want it done. Like, really want it done, not just cause somebody else has theirs pierced (some little 3 year old at my kid’s school had pierced ears for chissakes) and then make them think about it for a while. I personally think the 7-12 range is a good bet, depending on the individual…

*you can flail around attempting to work out any time*

My (southern) grandma always had multiple packs of hot dogs in the deep freeze. She would slice open a package, drop them in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes then split them down one side and pan fry them for breakfast. Think bacon but for poor people.

Perhaps our first goth president could also be our first female president? I may or may not be basing this idea on Cate Blanchett in Thor: Ragnarok

If you want inspiration to finish a race and get out of the car as fast as possible, get you a gut full of Taco Bell.

“Who will volunteer to give up their seat? No one? We’ll give you $1200... Still no one? Ok, first volunteer gets to ride this pony off the plane!”

Maybe this is why all those old testament marriages included concubines and slaves etc. I mean, a guy has to get his rocks off, even if his wife is filthy and impure, right?

Just so we can all be right: The Pacific geoduck (/ˈɡuː.iˌdʌk/), scientific name Panopea generosa, is a species of very large, edible saltwater clam

Dating advice from Leonardo DiCaprio

Arming religious zealots aaaalways ends well for everyone...

Maybe the pocket knife goes in your pocket, and not your pack?

I have two weird things:

My 4 year old calls Skyrim “The running around game”, Diablo 3 “the scary monster game” and minecraft “the piggy game”.

Well done you. And yes, there are a preponderance of men who believe that they not only know how to chop wood, but are also good at it, simply because they are “manly” and this is somehow an inborn trait of “real men”. I have had to explain to several people over the years how to split wood properly, and reassure them…