Yay Tracy!

I commend him. Getting back on your feet to do something as taxing as stand-up after such a serious, devastating injury is very difficult. Being able to maybe find a little humor in it can be very healing. Go get ‘em, Tracy!

I can’t even comprehend how much of a piece of shit you have to be to crap on these parents for having more children. I’m going to have a rage stroke thinking about it.

The garbage islands really do exist. I understand you probably get off on being contrarian, but at least do a little research.

So... you think the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is a myth? Because, uh...

“something in the environment”

Yeah, it’s an epidemic. Trans people, especially trans women, and most especially trans women of color, experience violence at a rate that would be a national panic were it against any other group.

Yes. It is. Gay people are murdered too, but trans people, and especially trans women, and especially trans women of color are at that perfect intersection of “threatening to masculinity” and “presumed less valuable because of racism” and “okay to cheapen or make fun of (a la Wendy Williams) because of lack of…

Um, why are the snacks so close to the... non edibles? I have another folding table that they can have for free... $29.99 for the first month, $14.99 each additional month, just to lesson the chances of cross-contamination.

Hands down best pun, very polished.

My life makes so much sense. I’m sleep depriving myself now so I can get into a good college and graduate quickly so I can get a good job that sleep deprives me so that I will have enough money to retire so I can sleep as much as I want. But by that point I’ll either be dead because lack of sleep killed me or I won’t…

What’s your best “Invited to the Sock Hop” story?

Every day I wake up and I’m infinitely glad I’m only going to my soul-killing, mindless cubefarm job and not heading to high school. I can’t imagine trying to survive that shit now, what with social media and shit like this.

That is SO cool. Said it before, 25 years from now people will be dumbfounded trying to figure how we lived our lives WITHOUT 3D printing with all the convenience and customization it entails. They still haven’t really scratched the surface of what they’re capable with this technology.

Now wait a minute, the half-deaf pill-popping loudmouth with the ass boil deferment has a point we haven’t considered. Isn’t it convenient that all of the scientific data pointed directly to this answer just because there is a Democrat in the White House?

Can we send Limbaugh to Mars to double check?

It’s his darkest timeline.

Winter is 9 months of the year here.

WINTER IS THE WORST AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. WHY ARE WE EVEN ARGUING ABOUT THIS?