"He said he had his fill of football and that he likes to walk and wander, and he was looking for a warmer place," Ortega said.

I puked from chemo last night... #humblebrag

My plan was to walk it all off. I can walk off a barf. I can grit and scrap my way out of a barfy situation.

Whoa. He's eating at Cheesecake Factory? $13 million won't be nearly enough.

Shit. I've got to look through my browser history. I swear I just saw something about a weird trick to help stave off performance anxiety.

Ahem, it's a Banana Republic sweater. TAKE THAT.

Tying a North Face around your waist: because you can take the kid out of a prep school, but...

The only good thing about the Bucs is that their original orange unis look like the tastiest bar at the ice cream truck. Creamsicles 4 lyfe.

I know we no longer require commenters to be funny or have a point, but can we at least require the writers to do so?

Thanks for doing this list, I was concerned all the world's insufferable Mexican food snobs were hanging out somewhere else on the internet today.

No chorizo or lengua makes this list horseshit.

The most

Meanwhile the Spurs be all

Half Life 3 confirmed.

LeBron drives a Lincoln. Lincoln succeeded James Buchanan.