She says she cares about her life, yet she's a political science major. Have fun working at Applebee's, sweetheart.

That's a pie full of coagulated blood.

In other news, 30% of Americans believe dinosaurs roamed the earth a mere 4,000 years ago...these opinion polls can be so informative!

Judging by all of the Viagra/Cialis and retirement fund ads on during games, this confirms one thing for me: at 36, I might be the youngest person watching baseball.

This just in - baseball is boring, and most people would rather watch paint dry.

And after using that hash tag, his laptop was "Randomly" seized by the Department of Justice.

Trolling a St. Louis team?

Thanks for writing this. I took my husband's name, and I really, REALLY struggled with that choice. What I settled on was this fact: no matter what your last name is, it was a man's last name first (unless you changed it yourself, in which case, duh keep it). That is how our naming traditions are set up. If I'd kept…

NY pizza >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Chicago pizza

"What a fucking showboat."

Disgusting. And after all that time Mark McGwire put into teaching this franchise how things should be done. Why, they practically drove him into the Dodgers' arms with their willful disregard! DROVE HIM I say!

In perhaps the ultimate disrespect to all that is right in America, the Cardinals are making people want to root for the Dodgers.

Baseball players are adults playing a child's game. The Cardinals chose to be the children with nothing better to do than nitpick.

Who records a video when people are using the urinal?

Not to brag but that was me at work.

Sing us a song you're the Schiano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a clusterfuck
And there's no end to this shitshow in sight

I let my wife talk me into this when we had our Twins, Target and Field. It was hard to say no, she just got done giving me Metrodome.

Deadspin sure does get bent out of shape when riley cooper drops an n-bomb and gets to stay with the eagles. But they are fine leaving it up to lsu to decide whether to play a thug with two assaults, one caught on camera.

The butt of Conan's joke was both Rihanna and Chris Brown. The butt of Chael's joke was Floyd. Evidently comedy is hard for you.

"Rihanna broke up with Chris Brown after she caught him cheating with a waitress. Rihanna said she knew something was up when Brown came home with another woman's lipstick on his knuckles." Conan O'Brien, April 10, 2013 http://teamcoco.com/jokes/apr-10-2…