Do you mean Roman Polanski, the rapist and pedophile who has evaded jail to this day (oh wait, he did serve two measly months but was then declared a "free man")?

No hate intended. Just not for me.

Period sex is awesome. Maximum lubrication. We have a 1970s era beach towel designated for the act (actually, also for when I dye my hair; efficiency!!).

Yes, thank you. I was going to ask where the gas mask in that photo was, because the Abercrombie stinks up its wing of the mall and makes me want to hurl. It is like Axe and Aqua Velva had a baby whose mission is to destroy Earth, one olfactory sense at a time.

Nice try, Blake.

I don't think she hired interns, I think she hired all of the old J Peterman Catalog workers.

I think this is Mad Libs. For real. This is Mad Libs.

This could be the beginning of a fun game: Preserve blog post or excerpt from a gay romance novel? You decide!

Seriously, imagine the glorious turbans!

At least Robyn has a knack for finding rare, magical amulets in the most unlikely of places. It seems Blake is having trouble finding anything of substance.

What in the everloving fuck is that?

Oh for fuck's sake

Oh GAWD, I wanna be the intern who wrote that!!!

I'll take PRESERVE seriously if she makes Robyn Lively an editor.

This writing is making me really glad I decided against becoming a high school English teacher.

It sounds like you get the gist of feminism pretty well. I'm glad about that.

As a heterosexual, married male, I must offer two responses to this article:

First, the positive: Thank you for the laugh. This was one of the most insightful, witty, cutting articles I've read in a long time—and it had me howling, until...

Second, the negative: I have realized I know far too many men—and far too many…

I always wonder how many of those couples are picking these "cool" dates just so they can remember their anniversaries.

Fuck you, I got divorced because Jimmy Fallon had that guy from Stone Temple Pilots on the day we got married.