I want more articles like this. I want more talk like this. I want to hear less "single people will never know love like this" and more real talk. Like this.

I know ARTISANAL is pronounced are-tiz-nal (I think) but damn if I don't always hear it in my head as 'artiss-anal'

I fancy Bill Kurtis for mine, I like a sinister tone

My 28 year old ex dated a 16 year old after we broke up. I was like, "well, he's mentally at her age so I wish them well!"

They don't get it though and it happens SOOOOOOO often. In their mind they are still 22 even though their body likes like the Crypt Keeper.

45 24

I've gotten the type of socially confused men who harp on about women over 30 only wanting sperm donors so I'm up front about no wanting children (which is true) and then same dude acts like I'm some mutant child-hater/eater. Duuuuude, pick a revolting side and stick with it!

Totally. My coping habit when confronted with people who trigger heavy rage in me is to act as an impartial observer collecting data on a confounding species. I pretend I'm making a documentary. It helps my high blood pressure lol

And it's always about their feelings. Always about their feelings. Always about their feelings.

I love this, it's soooooo cute! I want to see more of this. Remember that adorable Cheerios commercial where all of the racists lost their shit? Ugh. Anyway, I LOVE the Swiffer commercial with the dad who talks about "no deep couch sitting" 'cause his little boy is always running around making messes. And then they…

Okay sorry to co-opt this convo with a separate topic but how does one get their messages bubbles to be purple instead of standard green text message or blue imessage? I'm completely serious.

They are fascinating in a sociological sense. If you look too closely, you will want to barf and scratch your eyes out.

They're gorgeous!

I...I want to be one of his cats please.

I believe it! I absolutely refuse to believe that I have to date online to find someone. I've tried it and it's not my medium. I meet a lot of people and am open to meeting people so I trust that when I am ready, I will encounter someone great!

Meh, these studies are fucking stupid and a waste of time. I feel like they serve as some bullshit warning device for the womenz to be pressured into marriage and baby-making. There are 7 billion people on earth, I think we can both find at least one amazing person. In fact, I KNOW we can :)

My cat bashed his face against the front of the carrier so hard he had wounds and a cone. He is the opposite of her cat.

This whole look, including the cat, is on point. Well done, Swifty!

I do! It's http://fleetwytchmac.tumblr.com/ and I shall follow you now!

Use it freely! Print them out and hand them to people. Sticker every surface!