I'm shocked people not in nursing homes are still watching David Letterman.

My bachelorette party consisted of an evening of my and my three best friends (at the time) spending an evening at a local bar playing pool and drinking. It cost less than $100 in 2001.

Okay, let's get this straight. Freedom of speech rights pertain to the federal government not taking revenge upon you for what you say. Your employer can and will still fire your ass (legally) should you violate their policies.

Geez...you lost. Get over it. There is a lot more for you to be worried about in-house rather than just this one call.

I agree with grandma. Wholeheartedly.

That's what middle names are for!

Is there one of these for boys? I'd love to see it!

It looks like an elephant giving birth.

*My intention was to body-shame all mothers who do not have an hour a day to devote to intense workouts while their husbands stay home and watch the children so they can continue their empty lives as internet fitness bloggers. Oh, and to garner a shitload of attention. Yay me!

Fixed that for ya!

lookatuslookatuslookatus!

I'd have thought he smelled like old cheese. Sparkly old cheese.

I just about peed myself.

Am I the only one hoping Khloe and Lamar get back together? They always seemed real and actually in love. They're the only ones I can stand out of that whole Klan.

I'm always suspicious of Kimye; they're both famewhores. The sentiment is sweet, but it would have been better if Kim just texted him the photo directly instead of foisting it on the rest of the world.

I am a mom of young sons. I am trying my very best to instill in them the following values:

Boogers!

+1 internets to you, fellow math nerd!

Did they at least buy them dinner first?

I'm sorry for the breakup. I don't live near you, so I'll have a drink in your honor.

This woman would take him DOWN. And not in a way enjoyable to him.