And yet some of us are inexplicably drawn to them for the rest our lives. Not me, of course, but, y’know.

Wow, RedZone’s really kicked up their viral marketing efforts this year.

Thanks NFL, you actually made me side with Tom Brady. Bastards.

Well, as a PR man for a pro sports organization, his job is to obfuscate and stall. And he seems pretty good at that. BUT, he and his whole organization should look at coordinating their message before the questions come. AND, one hope, tell some folks to STFU about stuff. (Owner excepted.)

It gets even better when the further west you go. Hell, the only difference between western PA and W VA is Pittsburgh, and that’s...a whole ‘nother world unto itself.

Yeah, I mean, look at the way that little Pit-ka-chow thing shoots lightning. I mean, with that sort of critter running around, you gotta watch yourself.

A nice, and hopeful, contrast to the Baylor U. farce.

And this why you must never just ‘get nude’ in your own backyard like Carl.

Twinkies, eh? How baked did Galactus have to get before he found them appetizing?

TONIGHT.

The ganj is seen as affecting performance on the field. And that fucks with the Vegas line. That’s one reason why the NFL is so antsy about it being used. That’s my opinion, at least.

When do university officials become legally culpable? Specifically when do these officials and/or the school as a whole become negligent and or guilty of obstruction of justice by legal definition? Is there enough evidence for either for the victim to sue Baylor for the former and have a real chance of winning on…

If they’d only listened to Tebow, none of this would be happening.

Well, at least heroin will get you high before you throw up.

I didn’t know that this existed until now. Thank you, Twitter, thank you.

Would you like me to eat you? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?

Here’s the cover girl for, oh, ALL of their issues:

The idea that there’s a place in the world where ginger women are scorned is tragic on the one hand. On the other, it’s a golden (strawberry blonde) opportunity for some of us.

Just a reminder folks, these are the people who will likely determine who will be President next year.

Actually is Dolan.