The word "zazz" was definitely used in their campaign to sell the car to the suits. A clinical tribute to middle aged sweatpants-wearing average dull society. I'm surprised it came in any shade other than the 50 of grey, which doesn't insinuate a fun time behind closed doors. A collective yawn from the cluster group…

My 318ti. Had very low miles, 29k, when I bought it from a fastidious owner about six years ago. Thought it was a holy grail model with the M tech pack and the bigger four pot, plus the proper row-your-own. Fell apart so fast, and was dull like that Fit, plus no room for anything bigger than a hat. For the dough,…

I've ran across this ad before, a few months back. Bottom line is that the owner has spent a mint on this rig, and it's a 50/50 presentable island runabout. However, I've driven these with the old 2.5NA motor, and it's a complete dog. Plus, I can vouch that anyone over 5'10" will hate sitting in that cab. Makes my D22…

I made peepee laughing.

"What a great idea!" -no one

That girl sitting on the wall definitely made brown in her pants, because I would have.

Well, at least having the dollar signs in the model name makes it a perfect sequitur.

What the fuck is wrong with VW? Volks = people, and wagen = car. Have they completely missed the plot? Does their management team really need to wonder why their shit doesn't sell in the US? They make shit that's the butt of a joke, and Chrysler is mopping up. Stick to the basics, guys! You had the all-star team…

Ok, who the fuck hid the six-speed stick? Is it behind the garage door on the console?

I owned one of those. Bad would be the word I would choose to describe it. Sounds great on paper, but God did it fall apart quicker than a Kardashian wedding.

2015 VW Microbus: Coming to America!

NP because fuck it. Accord monies for hypercar crazytimes.

Those states were holding out for two puppies, or a baby.

Welp, that settles it. I'm in.

You had me at suicide doors...

I said the same thing. I was a junior in college in 2000. Yeesh.

Don't blame me, I voted for Krodos.

Bring some sandpaper and primer. Definitely a neat panel van, similar to something out of Morris Garage. Immediately get the graphics and stamp removed, preferably while it's still in the current owner's driveway. Get that interior cleaned up to look more vintage than strip club, replace the etched window, paint baby…

Funny you mention it. I was driving home late rush hour last night, jamming out to Ozzy, and casually negotiating traffic. A late model Wrangler Unlimited was driving in front of me, speeding way up, slowing way down, combined with the occasional rumble strip braille kiss in the usual fashion of a distracted driver.…