In fact, I think God’s Plan for this dude is a pair of smashed kneecaps, and I’m feeling a calling from the Lord.

I am a person who got pregnant as a result of a rape. And I say this guy can go fuck himself.

Did she just refer to me as a bitch?

I came home after work to find my two teenage sons and a bunch of their friends and dishes piled in the sink. So I started in on a loud kitchen soliloquy about how I guess a vagina is required equipment for loading the damn dishwasher. I’m so glad I work all day and come home with my VAGINA to that I can do the…

My blood boils over that shit. Lmao like having a vagina doesn’t mean I have some magical knowledge on how to scrub a tub or a toilet. It’s pretty simple. It is dirty, I spray it with cleaner and I rub it until it appears clean. The end. Repeat forever until I die.

There’s a nasty bit where we, as domestics, end up just doing shit because it won’t be done right anyway. Kills me.

I sleep pretty good at night.

Are you literally more mad at Jalopnik than the president who got that veteran killed?

All I got out of this was, “I’m a psycho, so I haven’t worn sweatpants in a long time.”

Am I the only one who thinks of Jonathan Brandis and then gets sad whenever SeaQuest is mentioned? Yes, I’m an old, for certain values of “old.”

Oh, shut the fuck up, Caitlyn.

I have no doubt this pants-splitting moron voted for Trump. None whatsoever.

Funny thing...my family (who are all born again Christians) have the tact NEVER to say this to me. “Corgis, aren’t you glad you’re here with us and not dead in a dumpster?”

Why am I not surprised that literally every method listed is the very opposite of what our lying racist ignoramus of a president does?

I knew driver training in Germany was really, really good.

This would be a good addition to the bill - If father of child says you have to carry baby to full term, you get to kick him in the balls every time you feel pain.

As a currently pregnant person, I’d like to tell this man to fuck the fuck off with his host bullshit. I wanted this baby and pregnancy is miserable as FUCK. This isn’t hosting, this is being bled fucking dry by a goddamned alien (if you’re reading this in the future, little dude, just know that I mean every fucking…

I Feel like this gif will not be not applicable anytime soon

not logging out of an app is not a bug you complete brie covered buffoon 

Just the brown ones, apparently. Has there been any effort to kick out all those Irish kids who overstayed their student visas?