Poor doggie? Puppers regained its composure before all the humans did—and immediately went to the task of cleaning up. That is a very goooood pup!

I told my family not to get me anything—but they all sent me cash, anyways. I donated all of it to the ACLU in their names because they are all avid Trumpers and openly disregard everything I say because I am a “girl,” despite being in my late 30s and the most educated in the family.

Agreed...at this point, I kinda want to pack my bags, leave my job, and move to the rural French countryside. Forever.

That is perfectly good information to put in your profile. I have tried to be upfront with my boyfriends that I do not want kids, and they claim to be on board...until they decide that I MUST have some.

This is why we need more bidets in the US. After installing one, I find that two small wads of tissue do the job.
1. Spray water.
2. Tissue wad #1: Wipe away stubborn remnants.
3. Spray water, round 2.
4. Tissue wad #2: Dry all surfaces.
5. Flush without fear of clog.

This is a long as f*** post, and I apologize in advance for any poor sod who reads it.

Thanks for the great info! I work a rotating shift schedule, so my most-dreaded part of winter is de-icing my windshield in the wee hours following a late swing shift or after a midnight shift.

I don’t know if they are carrying it this year or not, but avoid Pumpkin Pie Spice Cookie Butter like the danged plague. I love cookie butter, kinda meh on pumpkin spice, but the stuff in that jar was likely dredged up from the nastiest pond in the depths of hell.

I have no qualms about telling those “inquiring types,” that I simply do not like children. I tend to get, “but you were a child yourself!!”

Any rodent problem for me has been eliminated because my corgi-jack russell mix has learned that small rodents are fun to hunt/kill. Courtesy of his “crack-russell” half, he will spend forever stalking and waiting for his quarry.

After fishing a crapton of fingernail clippings that my adult brother allowed to clog a sink, I certainly WISH that I used them to make a voodoo doll.

I bought a nail clipper with a case from the local Korean store—because it is easier to simply dump the clippings out. (That said, I clip after showering because they are more pliable)

These pamphlets always leaves wayyyy too many plot holes.

I give out full-size candy bars because I want to be the amazing goddess of candy whom I only encountered once or twice during my own childhood.

I was unintentionally the “other woman” in a relationship. Longtime old friend who insisted that he was separated and getting divorced, and wanted me—and I stupidly believed him. After awhile, I realized that things were not lining up, and finally held his feet to the fire and demanded the truth, which was that he…

They are considered brass knuckles—which is irritating because useful, easy to carry/conceal defensive options are already plenty limited for women...and I can arguably get away with carrying a gun over a safety-cat (if I were caught with the latter—I have a concealed carry permit for the gun).

There are a few versions online that are made out of ABS plastic. *nods*

I stepped in to mention this. In air traffic control, a lot of the working force is single and/or divorced. I have only seen a couple people get married, but a LOT have gotten divorced. Most of my peers are not even looking.

My portable coffee is a container/bag with teabags (the long, unbleached, fold-able bags) filled with coffee.

My portable coffee is a container/bag with teabags (the long, unbleached, fold-able bags) filled with coffee.

I wonder if coming out of anesthesia has any similarity. I had a double-jaw surgery, and the first thing I remembered was hearing people talking—but was unable to do anything else. I was eventually able to twitch my right hand, gesture for a writing utensil, and write decently enough to communicate—but was still…