Then again...I just really like almost everything Cigar City does.

My friend got me a bomber of this for my birthday with the caveat that he knew I was lactose intolerant but I had to try it. He also got me a lactase pill which was very thoughtful.

BUT IT WORKS!

Or really crappy weed.

Yeah, but I really feel like his harsh opposition to the science of climate change will really come back to thaw his campaign.

My highlight reel would have been exclusively his dives. I couldn't stop annoying my friends by saying, "Looks like Dellavedova...DOVA into the crowd again!" Of course, I have no friends because of jokes like that, so my dog mostly just ignored me and farted in protest.

Dude, you just caused riots by vaguely bad-mouthing it. I am currently rioting.

Isn’t High Life technically malt liquor? Not that it's going to stop me from calling it the champagne of beers and laughing as I wander away from my former friends, but it would be nice to know.

I will never be happy with my external genitalia. God/FSM/nothing could have put it in a more protected area.

The eighties were a weird time. Tormund was really into George Michael then.

I wonder what their kick back from vuvuzela sales were.

Dammit, you beat me.

Wield it carefully though. People will swerve out of the way.

You say that like it isn't worth it.

In Baltimore, you can get 24 Natty Bohs for $12. Just sayin'.

WHO'S THE SPOILED ONE NOW? That's right! Twenty-four Shiners for $18. Livin' the life.

This is still my go-to summer beer. You can get a case of it for $18 this time of summer.

If you only go to Kissimee and the tourist areas, you may not see them. They really use big data to coordinate their policing, so they go where the crimes are going to be. Go downtown on a Saturday night when they shut down Orange Ave and you might even get to see them in action. My first month here I watched them…

Yes. The Orlando police use actual nets to catch criminals like Wile E. Coyote.

Think about how classy you would look at a house party with two of these taped to your hands! LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, KIDS!