Russia is ready to fight, evidenced by the fact that two people went out of there way to punch a stranger rather than just driving away muttering, "Damn, homeless people." like we would in America.

Does not change how much I want one.

I'd like my genitalia to provide me with offspring at one point so I try to avoid crushing them with denim. Also, it's not the 80s anymore and I'm not Axl Rose.

1.) I no longer feel as bad about the U.S.'s infrastructure.

1.) I no longer feel as bad about the U.S.'s infrastructure.

Thanks for writing this, Automach! I'm looking forward to your next one.

I will agree that the yellow piping is a step too far, but overall I like it.

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Just roll with the joke, dude. We don't want anyone knowing that Baltimore is actually pretty awesome.

I think most people describe the majority of Baltimore as "post-apocalyptic."

You forgot the deal we gave Fat Albert.

You idiot. You fed the troll.

YOU CAN'T STOP FOR PEDESTRIANS. YOU'LL HOLD ME UP AND I'M A VERY IMPORTANT MEMBER OF A NON PROFIT FOCUSING ON WAYS TO GET INNER CITY KIDS TO CLEAN THEIR EARS MORE AND WE HAVE A MEETING WITH JIM (you know Representative Jim DeMint) AND WE'RE TOO IMPORTANT TO WAIT. NOW I'VE SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES OF MY BEAMER AND SPILLED…

People who self-identify as "good drivers" actually tend to be more accident prone because they feel like they can do dangerous things "safely." This guy basically just said, "I'm a good driver who will be in more accidents than those people I claim are shitty drivers."

FIRST THING THEY'VE GOTTEN EXCITED FOR