I literally loled at the thought of Oprah gleefully getting on an intercom. I hope she sneaks into Target in disguise and announces weird things too. Just for kicks. "FREE M&Ms IN ISLE SEVEN. EVERYBODY RUN"

Apparently, he sent a second text message right afterwards.

Firstly, well said. But couldn't some one just have a random friend text them something, and just change their contact name for that one message?

Bowles should be forced to forfeit access to all word processing software, pens, paper, typewriters, telephones, recording devices, telegraph wires, tattooing needles, and sky-writing airplanes for the rest of his life in repentance for this.

How broke, or how broken?

She's going to be dead soon, isn't she?

Yes. For example, many wives do not let their husbands go to strip clubs.

Most married people, women & men alike, could provide you with a list of things their spouse will not let them do.

I don't know many guys who would enjoy their girlfriends grinding up on some other guy. And I don't know many women who would want other women grinding up on their boyfriends. BUT I do know swingers and people in open relationships who do enjoy that activity. Whatever you want it's okay. What's not okay is…

It's not the kind of relationship I would want or tolerate, but it's not my relationship. If Shakira is happy with her boyfriend and the relationship dynamic, then what does anyone else care? If she said "everyone else should acquiesce to their boyfriends' wishes" I would have a problem. She's not, though, she's only…

I actually don't have a problem with shakira boyfriend not wanting a steamy music video with men. You see all the time rappers with girlfriends or wives, and in there video they have naked women shaking there ass all over the rappers which to me is totally disrespecting too there other half. Its about respecting your…

I'm pretty sure puppy fever is worse than baby fever. I volunteered at a rescue (TERRIBLE IDEA) and they got a litter of 13 puppies the day I started. My job each day was to play with the puppies individually aka fall madly in love with 13 pups. Needless to say, we eventually ended up adopting one of them. I came home…

Darl's mother is a fish.

Teh Wife and her Cohort of Cackling Crazies call each other "Babe" like they're auditioning for Charlotte's fucking Web all day every day (I blame the pot).

They would love this.

"Darl" made my day. Can this be a thing, like a Siri voiced by Gina Gershon in Showgirls?

You laugh now, but then Facebook will go ahead and buy it for dicktillion dollars. And then the brogrammers who brogrammed it will invest all of their money in axe body spray.

Right? I idolize the big names in my genre. Would I love to have success like theirs? Sure. But would I ever suggest they step aside to let me take the stage? BWAH! As if. No one quit writing to make room for JK Rowling. She earned her place at the top. I'm going to keep working hard and dream of getting there some…

When Miley finally matures to the stage at which she, like the rest of us, is mortified by the things she did, said, & thought in her teens & early twenties, she will truly be a talented, worthwhile performer whose music I'll be able to openly admit to liking.

I have a soft spot for Rodriguez and am really glad she's happy. I just worry about her and the alcohol like I'm her mom instead of some creepy rando internet stranger.