He literally just told me that people die, that I should get over it, and that I'm a moron. Can we stop this now?
Writer4003
Writer4003
People don't have to grieve in the same way as you. I'm sorry if this bothers you, but you'll have to put on your big-boy pants and deal with it. As I've said over and over and over, if it's interfering with community safety or otherwise terribly inconveniencing them, there are proper channels to go through to remove…
Her intent doesn't matter. It's still rude whether she meant it to be rude or not. Just as it's not the intent of a guy who hasn't recognized his white privilege to degrade women when he makes a rape joke, but he still participates in rape culture when he does so.
I don't mean to be rude, but if you'd actually been reading all my comments, you'd know that I've been making that point from the start.
No, she called him a horrible person for being deliberately callous and offensive on the subject of a dead child.
If that were the case, they should take it up with authorities or with the family. Not go and take the memorial down themselves. They could be damaging or taking items that belonged to the child, items the family would want back. There's a right way to go about it, and taking a pair of scissors to a memorial for a…
I am sorry if that was rude, but you started the conversation with a distinctly rude tone. I only matched your rudeness.
No, they don't. But it's not acceptable to take matters into one's own hands the way that this woman did. There are other and better ways to deal with memorials that are sensitive to the rights of the grieving family and the community at large. Coming at the memorial with a pair of scissors is not the way to do it.
And why are boundaries in place in this situation? Because the feelings of the family could be hurt. Because the memorial could annoy other people in the community. It's not a boundary of safety or law, it's one of sensitivity.
The way this person is making incendiary comments in order to elicit negative reactions is trolling. It's not necessarily the content of the comments, it's the way they're presented. In this case that means with derision and cruelty. Deliberate derision and cruelty in order to make people angry.
The issue is with one person taking it into their own hands to remove the memorial. There's other ways of calling attention to something that may need to be removed, and the way she did it was pretty shitty.
You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to my opinion about your opinion. It gets all convoluted from there, of course, but you can see my point.
Okay, but I'm still seeing this as "I don't find them appropriate." See that? It doesn't really matter what you or I think about it. If it's not interfering with our lives, we really have no right to tell others what they should or shouldn't do, right?
God these trolls don't even fucking try anymore... Put some effort into it! You're wasting your valuable free time that you could be spending with frie—oh? What's that? Your life is empty of companionship and so you go on the internet to get reactions out of strangers for fun?
Yeah. When you experience a loss, everyone's always full of "advice" aren't they? Especially when your loss is "bringing them down" or "really interfering with the housework."
It's interesting, because this is, all around, a sensitivity issue. It's sensitive to the family to keep the memorial, but if you don't like seeing it, apparently it's about your sensitivity, too.
How the fuck do trolls have time for this shit? Don't you have a life? A job, friends, incendiary novels to write? Anything?
When my boyfriend died, I didn't keep our bed either. I didn't keep anything. Not his clothes, his violin, his music, pictures of him, pictures of us together. I didn't even keep our email or text conversations because I thought it would always be too painful to go back to them. I have terrible regret about that now,…
Doesn't matter if it makes sense to you. You don't get to tell other people how to grieve.