For a while I've had on my calendar a recurring event I call "Respite." It's my planned time to relax, play video games, read, etc.

On another side of this, I find that when I start feeling bored or unproductive that I need to switch tasks or take care of something that's keeping me from getting stuff done. Instead of…

I hadn't heard about that. It's an interesting point.

The need (or desire) to work in a field where success is seen more objectively can certainly be a relationship obstacle. When life is viewed as a competition with clear winners and losers, then there is a risk that relationship will fall into the same category.

I wasn't suggesting that it answered the question of whether identity crises are more common for men or women, simply suggesting a different category.

I'm a man and I often feel the identity crisis, but I'm also a writer and speaker.

If you wanted to conflate the two theories you might postulate that men tend to…

It might be that it's for people for whom the measures of success are more subjective. Things like acting, writing, and music don't have a hard line for what is good and what isn't. Even if one sells lots of books, criticism can still find a mark ("sellout" "hack" "shill").

But in jobs with a more objective measure of…

True, Jeff, and that nuanced approach is far better advice than simply "Everything happens for a reason." Or it's insipid cousin, "When God closes a door he opens a window."

Yet the moment of lesson learning is almost never the moment when this "advice" is thrown out. Just as we can only control our own reactions to…

Often it's what people say when they don't know what to say.

"I lost my job." —> "Everything happens for a reason."

It's not that the words are necessarily untrue (every effect does have a cause, so it's technically always true), it's that as a response to a life situation it's profoundly unhelpful.

The kernel of the…

"Everything happens for a reason."

Also get to writing by reading.

Re-read what you've already written. Read something in the genre you're writing. Read deeply (not just skimming blog articles). Read without guilt; it's an essential part of the writing process.

Whiteboard!

FYI your source link is to the mobile site.

Here's the link to the desktop version of the story.

How is the first step not: have a small snack?

Even 10 calories in a stick of gum can help reset your caveman brain and help you make a much better decision.

I would say instead that creative people should develop the skill of being distractible.

I find that the distractions of my desk are not helpful in fostering creativity, but the distractions of other things can be very helpful. Looking out a window or walking around the block can spark a creative flurry — even my…

You shouldn't, that's true.

I've let my knives get a little on the dull side, so I probably need to hone more often than I should. I also know that I keep my knives sharper than most people do, so they probably need to hone more often than I do.

Also rehone your knife before cutting each tomato. Using a honing steel is a must for kitchen knife users.

It does work for train service in France. I tested that one out this summer.

So you haven't been able to find underlying desires and find creative ways to address shared desires? I've found it quite helpful, especially in communication with my wife.

It appears that "Start with No" assumes that the people with whom you are negotiating are trying to "take you to the cleaners" (according to the…

Getting to Yes

Brain Rules

Don't Try too Hard

Set Clear Expectations