You had me at Scott Baio. Though I'm sure he'll ruin this book, as he does with EVERYTHING.

They do it to get attention from dudes at parties I thought

I don't care what they say, I'm not changing my slash fic one bit.

Guys, her last name is Tuff. Come on! If her name was in a book or movie people would be like, "Oh, please. Too obvious".

Whenever my husband and I are plastered, generally at least one of us will announce, "I drank a lotta booze, ma. ...Happy Mother's Day."

"I'm inventing electricity, and you just look like an asshole." That has become a standard phrase in our house when someone is being a jerk.

The first time I saw the video of her signing Jolene at the Grand Ole Opry I knew at that moment that I would forever be in love with Dolly. She is an angel on earth and I hope she never ever ever leaves us. Along with Betty White.

The early ones have them CLEARLY shitfaced. Check out the Ben Franklin, Nicola Tesla, and Onie Judge videos. Gold. Pure gold.

The only thing that could make this better is if we could make team shirts and we could be TEAM ALEXANDER SKARSGARD'S FLACCID PENIS. I would wear that shirt every day.

I have had this image of Mark Ruffalo pinned to the wall by my office desk for years. I am extra proud to have it up today.

THAT DRESS IS BEAUTIFUL.

OMG I'm going to take this job!!!!!! This is the perfect opportunity to finally get my script in her hands! It's called "Queen Elizabeth and the Party Time Freakout Bus Go To Tijuana!" SHE IS LITERALLY PERFECT FOR IT!

This quote does more to dismantle choice-feminism than so many others.

Perfect! A little gunmetal gray epoxy and I will have a stunning U.S.S. Bismarck costume!

Jessica Coen cannot, in fact, name him, because as everyone knows if you say Hugo Schwyzer three times he shows up in your house and insists that the real gender problem in the world today is women not being nice enough.

Whosoever Holds This Vibrator, If She Be Worthy, Shall Possess The Penis Of THOR.

You guys do know that something else happened on Twitter today, right?

I know when I was on the dating scene, the first thing I wanted to is if a guy could swim ... because it's the epitome of manliness.

GIVE ME SOME FUCKING MALE BIRTH CONTROL RIGHT GODDAMN FUCKING NOW

If only the world had some kind of group of men who were angered by the way patriarchy hurt men, and were interested in organizing around those issues to make life better for both men and women. Men who were activists for "men's rights", if you will.