"It's called 'Pinot Noir'..."

Guysguysguys, have you seen the whole interview? SO worth it for the "unBREAKable" line:

Petition to start referring to trolls as "local bar owners".

Well, Lupita Nyong'o's pearl dress might be even better than her glorious SAG dress and now I don't know what to do.

LOVE THESE. My favourite is probably PaltrowCape_2012, but guys, guys, I just googled Audrey Hepburn at the 1979 Oscars and:

Got to "Which one of us would you rather die first?" and laughed so hard I doubled over and bit my knee.

Fucking hell, that's cool. I'm in awe of Emma Sulkowicz and Carry That Weight.

Right?! I can't even think about it!

I stayed punk throughout the Sainsbury's one and, for once, the John Lewis one, but have you seen the BOOTS one? With the MUM? Fucking. Hell.

Oh no, Dodai, I'm so SAAAAAAAD. You've been my favourite favourite since I got my licence to practise Lesbian Shitassery, lo, these 7 years ago. I knew this day would come eventually, and I'm so excited for your new adventures, but I — I'm just going to miss you so mu-hu-hu-uuch. Thank you for being just fucking…

Calliiiiiiie!!! Wishing you an absolutely magnificent time in all your future adventures. You will be so missed!

Oh no, what? Usher got into the cinema again. Every fucking night, I swear. HE'S NOT EVEN A REAL USHER.

Argh, noooo, Lindy! You have made me laugh so, so very much, and I will miss both you and the caps greatly. Wishing you the best of luck in all your future adventures. May you have glory in battle.

Oh no, but now where can they safely disco??

I know, I'm sorry. This was so long ago I didn't even have a digital camera - we were all sharing a bunch of disposables. There'll be photos somewhere, probably in a shoe box in my best friend's parents' house. I should launch an enquiry.

My friend has always maintained she didn't scream, which I think means she screamed. As for where it is now... oh god... I dread to think. This was years ago now and my friend has moved from Bangkok to London since then, so I would be shocked and appalled if she still had it. She wouldn't have brought it here, would…

My friends and I were about to fly from Vietnam to Thailand to stay at another friend's Bangkok flat while she was visiting her parents. We got her a nice present for letting us crash, but then we also found THE MOST HELLISH PRESENT IN THE WORLD. It was a ball of multicoloured fake fur around the size of a basketball,…

I'd watch that one.

Noooo, that's the one I can't break into! Shit, why don't we have private messaging any more. Uhhh... temporary account?