Oh god, I spent my entire teens agonising over my unperky boobs. They were the albatross in my bra. I remember reading... I think it was The God of Small Things? Anyway, I was reading some book at school and there was a line about how you could tell your breasts were in good shape if you held a pencil under one and…

I thought everyone knew what the end of the shoelace is called. It's a ringlet. Wait. A singlet. A snaglet? A sniglet. FUCK.

You ain't got no prepositions, Lieutenant Dan.

Patty Stanger, you are absolutely right. Crave no attention my island.

Nice.

Then my work here is done!

Uh, no, it's stoatally different.

Ha! Thanks.

When I was 17-year-old wide-eyed innocent straight out of school I took an admin/sales job in the village where my mum lived. It was a family-run travel agency, based out of their home, and I got to know them pretty well over the 8 months I worked there - 7 days a week oh my Christ what was I thinking?

Steinem's comment just released all the Miley Cyrus tension I didn't know I had and now feel retroactively super weird about.

I think Kinja ate my post. I was trying to say that Charlie Hunnam's track record is fairly solid when it comes to being objectified. Mako Mori peeking at Raleigh Becket through the door in Pacific Rim is some pretty fabulous and unusual female gazing (particularly coming from a summer blockbuster).

I dunno, Pacific Rim was pretty keen on the female gaze...

Oh, Lydia.

Today we are cancelling the apocalypse!

...That's what he said?

I guess he got finally got round to reading it. Now we just have to stage some kind of intervention for Lizzie Bennet and we're away.

GODDAMNIT, WHY ISN'T ANYONE SORRY I WAS OFFENDED?!

"And don't underestimate the importantance of... BAAAHDY LANGUAGE, HA!"

So beautiful.