Thank you!

Yay, thank you!

"Let me just remind you how not so different they are from those guys who paint their faces for a Giants game every Sunday and talk about what jerks people are who root for the Jets. They’re both in tribes they’re passionate about.” (Morgan Spurlock, Entertainment Weekly).

@MichaelJLohan JESUS CHRIST, MAN - GET THAT ROSE TO A HOSPITAL.

"Oh my god" is exactly how I feel about the prospect of waxing my legs this week. I'm just a tall drink of hair that needs removing. So much hair, all the fucking time. How do women in relationships that require them to be naked in front of another person at regular intervals DO IT? Are they sorceresses?

Anna, you know I don't want to hear about Fifty Shades of Grey and yet you just keep on shoving this news at me, with zero regard for my emotions or general mental well-being. That is SO SEXY. I love you.

Today, we are CANCELLING the a-cock-alypse.

Aww, thanks!

That's so exciting! Many congrats.

I can't stop laughing at this one. I can't. I can hear his voice.

It's 1:30AM over here and I am cooking a casserole, doing my laundry and scrubbing out the bath while performing a fanTAStic version of "This Corrosion" by Sisters of Mercy. If we could just find a way to make it the middle of the night forever I could quite feasibly join the Avengers.

22) Question ("Comment"): I am scared of "Internet" dating. I don't meet anyone from the Internet.

Question: Do you like dogs?

I got the results of the test back. I definitely have all 6 items.

DO NOT ASK HIM BEFOREHAND. Honestly, it's right there in the FAQ.

Many things freak me out about Joe Francis, obviously, but my current overriding concern is that his teeth are all completely identical. WHERE ARE YOUR INCISORS, MOTHERFUCKER?

What has been googled can never be ungoogled.

Classic film noir is my smoking porn nowadays. "You're doing it inside the house? Oh, that's filthy. Oh yeah, do it in a meeting. Do it at lunch! Do it! Wait, at the morgue? That's... pretty weird, actually. You can stop now."

Aw, yay! It's like the end of Homeward Bound up in here.