Jamaicans hate being drug tested. It fills them with dreads.

"I'll be back in two shakes of a Fox's tail."

"I was totally board," is what the Woodman Killer said. "They walked on me like I was part of the bridge, yet I was totally board."

CORRECTION:

"I like my Puig like I like my pig: Greasy, underground, wrapped in banana leaves, ... sexually pliable." -Don Mattingly

They are even more efficient Klansmen than Americans! We'll never win.

I once watched a girl's bush do this after she went Vegan.

"A BAC almost twice the legal limit for driving? Do you pussies realize how little alcohol that actually is?" Donte Stallworth once joked to Ryan Dunn as they left the mountain bar.

That's nothing. Go to Wal-Mart. You'll see women and men in store-provided Shopping rascals with knees and elbows covered in giant clams. Also Hotdog Neck.

In different words I was going to make the same point. Those two tweets made me cringe.

I snorted on that. Thank you.

It's Scotland, so more like Peat Roses.

What do Dale Earnhardt, Pink Floyd, and Princess Di have in common?

As an alcohol alternative, I suggest shooting artisanal meth directly into your cockhead. Holy shit, I never noticed"artisanal" is "art is anal." Wow.

Wait...are you really that bad of an attorney that you couldn't get yourself a lighter sentence?

Yeah no shit. I'm from Louisiana, and I bet ER patients there have much more shrimp in their stomachs compared to people from North Dakota. So silly. Btw, I fucking love your name, dude.

"She's the Falstaffian Temptress" is my guess.

Bourbon

Does it really taste like chicken? Like seriously? I really really hope it does. I've had way too much experience with "taste these vegan brownies; they're as good as regular brownies!" and the like. And they never even taste remotely like regular brownies. Like not even close. Just people who haven't had an actual…

The female equivalent has been around for a long long time. VibePanties, or something like that? I remember seeing ads in the back of Hustler in the 80s. Although I have my doubts about anyone who uses those or this.