As Mrs. Catheter occasionally says, "It's like you're in my head."

Naming someone "Chastity" is always a bad idea.

Damn! Marrying some rich guy who's in prison has to be the easiest way to be a trophy wife!

Personally, I find it offensive that so many young people now go out of their way to stay "sexually pure." It feels like they're totally ignoring all the sacrifices I made back in the day to not be sexually pure. It's a disgrace.

What?

I love how fucking crazy you are. Shine on, you crazy moissanite!

"Horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely feel the heat."

Yeah, after a nap, I think the same thing.

Where does your argument end, though? You seem overly concerned about the fact that someone might find even a photograph of someone else pleasing to the eye.

The Greeks valued a healthy mind in a healthy body, so why should noting someone's obviously hard-earned physical attributes be utterly taboo now?

And won't someone think of the children?!?

Well... that happened.

GUNS ARE NOT AT ALL LIKE VAGINAS!!

I believe it was an obscure guru in the eighties who first predicted the rise of these bubble-wrapped children who sit in car seats until they're nine and are allergic to everything without a screen.

Why appropriate "ratchet culture" when you can appropriate some Nurse Ratched culture?

This is, I pre-suppose, similar to a Wes Anderson film in that it exists and is accompanied by a whimsical tune.

Pat thinks it's 1902, and he's back at the frathouse "punching vomit" and playing "bees," which was a lot like "quarters" but used nickels.

The experimental stem cells he had injected into his spine in China have moved to his brain, and his brain is now almost completely bone, which makes walking, talking, or governing Texas even more of a challenge for him. I understand he's considering taking up painting.

What is it I'm wrong about, Officer Wannabe?

I feel that law enforcement already has every advantage over a cowed populace.