If Megyn Kelly issued an on-air apology for her lies and constant "indignant" huffing right this fucking minute and then committed sepaku, she'd still burn in hell if there was such a place.

Dear Tail of Mears,

I made it twenty-four seconds.

I get where he's coming from— after all, who among us hasn't spent two decades trying to do something they don't want to do?

How else will her millions of fans be able to keep up with her ever-more-inspiring struggles as a smart, beautiful, and talented twenty-two-old woman if she can't Twitter?

Nice to see Big Suit and Mittens are still pals.

I don't have a lot of patience for MRA morons.

Can you hear that?

Why can't Huma run?

I don't see what the big deal is. There is absolutely nothing "unmasculine" about having a belly-button ring.

Ahhhh :)

Now I'm lost. But, no, I should think.

C'mon Laura, you talk a good game, but you're not even "thick" anymore.

Should you want me to click on anything, just use the words "Danny Trejo."

I agree with you completely. My own style is... let's call it "laconic."

I thought I'd get something crazier from Lauryn Hill.

Yes, though I've heard it as "fucking yank."

Well, now the trypophobia that someone in GroupThink gave me is cured.

So what did that nice cabbie mean when he called me a "seppo?"

As Mrs. Catheter is on the couch, I'll be alright.