Needs more Jackie Chan on a hovercraft.

Instead of sending a letter, they had Pirates skipper John Russel pick up the bullpen phone and break the bad news to Octavio Dotel.

@orbit: To those of you buying this car for the right reasons: I am not calling you asshuffers. It's the clueless types that think to themselves, "I really want a Porsche (pronounced "poursh"), but I don't want to spend much money. I just want the jerks I live near to see my shiny new fast car and think I'm really…

I heard that the algorithm was adjusted to remove any lingering anti-Yankee bias carrying over from the War of Northern Aggression.

Hysteria in the defense of liberty is no vice.

I vote for the "coxster" - the car for those asshuffers who want the cachet of driving a Porsche but are too cheap to buy a 911. I know several doctors that drive these things. Assholes.

Panamera: the family car for down-on-their-luck professional athletes.

@Dandy Koufax: That's one pen around which to twirl each end of that fantastic mustache. Either that or he's an IT guy.

@Tightlines: Once again, let's go back to everyone's favorite nemesis Bricktop for the working definition:

@The Gigolo JDR: I think that Prokhorov might just be able to bring in a few thousand Russian hookers to fill the stands. All they would have to do is deplane from his private jet.

Franck Ribery - lower on the Lenny Dykstra scale of ugliness and bad hair than any other professional athlete.

Jeez, what a pussy. This is the internet - you're allowed to say "fuck you".

@rebeldevil: My favorite thusfar is James' comment on Jeremy's passenger movement system for his Fiat Panda stretch limo:

The old timers game would surely include Rawlins Jackson Eastwick, he that cruelly carved the Red Sox with his deadly rapier during the 1975 World Series.

@Stev D: I thought Sen. Paul Simon was dead.

@InSinSeer:

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Stapp is certainly a whiter shade of pale in that video.

All members of Creed should be subjected to the tender mercies and gentle fantasies of Samson the twisted prison guard.

At least the Steelers can get rid of their major problem people when they need to. As soon as Singularity University figures out a way to replace our weak flesh with atomic-powered carbon fiber, Jerry Jones is customer number 1. Just think of it - cyborg Jerry Jones, owning the Cowboys forever and ever.

@ArkansasFred: The song "Asshole Haircut" was written for just such a situation it seems. Starts at about the 6:00 mark.