Hey, you seem older these days. Is it because you had a birthday or because I drafted Yuni Betancourt?

You can even have Sosa as Secretary of State, and McGwire as Secretary of Defense. Brilliant!

I wonder, exactly, what that would look like. Surely there is a .gif or MS Paint drawing of Canseco's ideal world of drugs.

When in doubt, cast broad, baseless accusations at just about anybody.

Something about trying to make an omelette, is what I heard.

Exactly! We normally do such a good job of setting ourselves on fire that we really don't need government to help us do harm.

So Many Questions DUAN

So that's why you kept calling me! All makes sense now.

Sounds logical and coherent, but remember I'm the one who quit teaching in the middle of last semester, endangering all future career prospects, when I figured out the answers to these equations:

A little 311 for 3/11. And I'm All Mixed Up.

That was a pretty good night. Looking at some of the comments, I came across this gem: [deadspin.com]

Why did I put first base? Oh well, the Rockies need a 3B also.

Apparently. Excellent phrase.

It's the worst. I have a yellow lab and a black lab and both have torn their ACL. It's so unexpected. Plus my black lab, apparently, doesn't feel pain. She tore her ACL, got up, and went running off 3 legs. Only when they did the surgery did she show signs of pain. Then it's just sad, because she doesn't know why she…

East Coasters, help me out with this sentence.

Agreed. It was about this time last year that my black lab tore her ACL. She was just running along in the park, then, the ACL gave out.

And do you know where the fine Left Hand Brewing Company is? That's right, Colorado. About 45 minutes from my house. Colorado has lots of great microbreweries, but Left Hand is trying to increase their distribution. You can go to your local, largest liquor store and ask them to order it.

Chocolate is poisonous for dogs, but you do have to feed the dog a large dose of it in a short term. Basically, that 11 lb bucket of Nutella (in chocolate form) that Drew was talking about the other day.

I don’t usually pay attention to the Oscars, so I have nothing new to add. I just wanted to second you on the Forrest Gump nonsense. My fellow teachers started showing that years ago to our 10th grade US History students because it was spring and we were burned out. So I’ve seen it about 100 times. It gets worse every…

Reading is fundamental, you know. There's a lot of stuff to notice on the page.