I used that line once and the guy said "Oh, he doesn't let you have hot friends?" and I said "Yeah, that's really not the issue here." and didn't realize until after I said it that it was actually a Clever Response, implying that he was not hot!

No judgments here. I use that line myself. A lot of the time, I get, "Oh well, I wasn't tryna date you. I just wanted to be your friend/hang out."

LOLOK BROSEIDON.

I once told a dude that and his response was "I don't believe you." Seriously. If a lady gives you that line, that means she's not into it. Otherwise she wouldn't have given you that line.

If it ever had a relationship with fire, their time together was insignificant and short.

The Southern Poverty Law Center does consider them a hate group.

Just a random note on FoF. I knew the son of one of the leaders, and he was the biggest piece of shit I ever met. He knocked up my friend, refused to help pay for the abortion and instead choked her when he found out. He already had a child with a cocktail waitress that the family hid from everyone to keep the…

I was so happy to see silly grown-up Aang, I shouted at my computer.

"Whoosh!" That's the breeze from the bullet you dodged.

Since my tale of how I flew to Canada to get laid failed to even get me out of the greys last week, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how my Canadian beau broke up with me when I got there. It's pretty raunchy and I apologize in advance.

I am in a serious but long-distance relationship. It's been a year with this guy and already I'm been planning my wedding vows and my dress and how I'll communicate with this mom, who has a thick foreign accent, for the rest of my life.

Sorry, this is long, there are two break ups and they're not really bonkers or funny, but I just wanted to write them down.

Yeah, I mean, I LOVE history. I'm a HUGE history nerd, especially for medieval and Renaissance England. But you know what was really fun? Marathoning The Tudors while sitting on my ass on a comfy couch and eating Chipotle burritos that had very little chance of spreading bubonic plague.

I got this.

Things hadn't been going well with Mr. JackAss for a couple months, but I had decided to stick through it during the holidays. Then, one afternoon, he offered to let me drive his Jeep. I shifted over to the driver's seat as he walked around to the other side. I adjusted the seat, and checked the mirrors as…

This is how my dad broke up with my mom when they were still teenagers. It should be noted that they did get back together, get married, and eventually had a long overdue divorce for which everyone is better off.

After an emotionally—and, rarely, physically—abusive relationship in a foreign country of four long years, my foreign partner convinced me to lie about a family illness to take an unpaid leave of absence from a job I was just about to get promoted at and go home to visit my family for the first time in two years (I…

Going up, my parents were were divorced and never communicated directly. I got bounced back and forth between them a lot. Always based on what my mom needed. Fuck my social life or grades or stability. If being a parent started to get too hard, she'd ship me off to live with my grandmother or father. She'd get lonely,…

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

One of my exes was into medieval reenactment and at one point bought me a throwing axe, which I got to be pretty good at. When I dumped him, he went to my room and grabbed it, then fell to his knees baring his throat and offering it to me while begging me to "end it now." I laughed so hard I staggered backwards and…

It's funny, because I want Wendy Williams to just shut up in general.