And Kanye. Nobody loves Kanye like Kanye loves Kanye.

I'm pretty sure Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick are cousins, so he's ok with it.

All she needs to do now is save the Loony Toons from alien space slavery and she's basically Michael Jordan.

We are all that laughing woman. That was beautiful.

Now can I then use this information to then track down the descendants of the people who owned my ancestors? I’m just really curious as to what they’re up to, and to make things weird, I’d also like to start the market for “your family used to own my family” greeting cards. I’d imagine they’d all just play Destiny’s…

Would my childish taunts of “no YOU’RE an attack on history and states rights!” help in any way?

Or have a class chicken, and everyone gets an egg.

I'm curious, who was the one who voted to toast the bread, and which classmate said the yeast was like their own little baby?

Do a crossover where the English class reads Lord of the Flies and you have a deal!

The real question is who gets to taste Pablo? There are more kids than fish here, even if Pablo is plate size.

A lot of people would give their left arm for Chris Pratt to rub them the wrong way.

What if Chris Pratt played He-Man? What if that is his project with Jennifer Lawrence? What if Jennifer Lawrence was She-Ra?

The weird thing is that I’m not one of those people who never call their parents. I call at least once a week and we’re all prolific texters. So basically I was like “omg you lying liars!”

My parents do this too. Last time it was that my dad was having a brain surgery, because he collapsed MONTHS beforehand, and smacked his head. No one told us about the initial fall, and my mom only told us after the resulting surgery because we were all “WTF mom!?!?!” Her excuse was that they all thought he was fine…

I am so glad my parents do not over-share. My dad’s penis shall remain a mystery for another person on another day.

I know your type, walking around with a red stain on your shirt because the pizza’s structural integrity was compromised by too much sauce. Drowning poor, innocent waffles with syrup. Ladling gravy on your mashed potatoes with reckless abandon! You food fiend!

Thank you for understanding proper food ingredient ratios.

And the beautiful Flaca, Maritza, Daya, and the one with the baby get no cover love.

But it doesn’t look like the world’s cheesiest pizza, so no dice. That sauce to cheese ratio is ridiculous.

“you mean my real dad was Rachel Dolezal the whole time!?!?”