The U.S. didn't lose the War of 1812. Didn't gain much, but we did get to slaughter British soldiers in New Orleans indiscriminately. That must have been pretty sweet.

These people are leeches. Now, they're leeching off British taxpayers and that's fine with me. I don't pay British taxes so it is none of my business if they want to infantilize themselves with a royal family they fawn over. Americans ought to do better than that. It's depressing that they don't.

British culture is one thing. I'm a fan of some British comedies and movies and books. Danny Boyle, Simon Pegg — these are quality entertainers. But these are people who have done something with their lives based on their own hard work. What have these royals done? Get born into a certain family? These people are…

They're on these celebrity magazines constantly and the morning "news" shows follow their every move. When this Princess Moonpie pops out the latest royal leech 75% of the females in the US [the white ones, at least] will go absolutely bonkers for days.

Indeed.

No, it isn't the American dream. I don't mind the mooning over handsome celebrities. It's stupid, but nothing could be more American than that. But this family of no-talents? Who aren't even American? It's pitiful.

The obsession American women have with the British royal family — the German-English offspring of a particularly successful clan of inbred cattle thieves — is truly baffling and depressing.

Actually, as I think I've made clear repeatedly, it was my friends who found it hard to believe. If I had thought it virtually impossible, I wouldn't have bothered to try. No woman is immune to my roguish charms.

People still watch network television?

If it is in Cosmo it must be true.

You'd have to ask my friends that question. Good luck with that.

I never wrote that I thought it was weird. I wrote that my friends thought it was rare and unusual. No suggestion of fear was ever made by them to me or by me on this website. Women are many things, but scary is not one of them.

The best part of a great show. There will never be a better lesbian bookstore owner than Fred Armisen.

I talk to feminists many times a day every single day. One of them gave birth to me.

I once picked up a woman in the women's studies section of a bookstore. And it wasn't some "Twilight" or "50 Shades of Gray" women's studies section. It was a Womyn's Studies section. Like that sort of thing. I didn't go to the book store to meet anyone, I went to kill some time before an appointment. I was in the…

Dudes, as if you needed another reason to NEVER get a woman pregnant — here you go. Practice safe sex, gents and offer to pay for any and all abortions.* It's a lot cheaper than the alternative.

The thought of getting married depresses me a bit, but the thought of getting married and still living apart would definitely ease the blow. If I could get an agreement that my wife would have to notify me a day or so in advance before coming to my house, that'd be almost ideal. [Almost because I'd still be married.]…

Don't see how this is any better or worse than federal funding for duck penises. In fact, since it doesn't involve U.S. taxpayer money [maybe UK taxpayer money] I have no problem with it at all. Don't think it'll be of any use to me, but most research is useless anyway. Only a tiny percentage of academic research…

I've never read or seen anything to do with Tucker Max and wouldn't know him if he ran over me with a truck. But putting his show or whatever it is on Broadway isn't a bad idea. It's just an idea. Don't like it? Don't support it. Simple as that.

"Sith getting their skeletal hands all over the Death Star blueprints" ?????