Not a thing. He’s the celebrity I most want to sleep with.

Perfect gif is perfect

I feel like I should be charged with statutory ocular rape for those last two, eek!

Isn’t it called The Hammaconda?

Why does this video need to go on for 4+ minutes?

Man, this is like finding out that Frisco Jones was busted for snorting cocaine in a General Hospital bathroom. I mean Jack Wagner.

I know! So savage. But she looked basic as all get out. Gorgeous, but not on theme, and not that interesting.

Can we please discuss that Taylor Swift did not attend? I can only assume she didn’t want to be part of the gala co-chaired by Katy Perry.

The most heartbreaking part about this whole saga is that it may have forced a mediocre white tech dude to admit that he can’t do everything. I mean, can you imagine the pathos of that moment, when he realized that his misguided bravado and the penis swinging between his legs just weren’t enough anymore?

I cannot get enough of this Fyre Festival Failure. Its SO funny to me. Keep the updates coming!

I still hold out hope that Chris Pratt’s character will ultimately be revealed to be the grown-up version of the kid that Alan Grant scared the piss out of at the start of the first movie.

Me too. Yum.

I am here for this.

crazy drunk uncle

DAD

This just reminds me of a simpler time, back when Tyra had the greatest talk show ever and she invited Naomi on to tell her what a horrible bully she was to her back in the day when they were supermodels. It was beautiful...I cried. And I swear to this day Naomi almost laughed in her face when Tyra said she was afraid…

It may not be compelling like the Harriet Tubman episode but i would love to see this on DRUNK HISTORY.

Too soon?